Facing life’s pressures, we often long for “freedom”—to distribute our time freely, to do what we want without restraint! But truly, to have real “freedom,” you must first have “self-discipline”!
A friend quit her job for “freedom,” wanting to pursue what she really wanted.
Three months after quitting, I knocked on her door.
Once, twice, three times. Expecting to find a liberated soul, instead I saw through the crack: disheveled hair, shabby clothes, eyes looking desperately at me—“I want to go back to work…”
Recall three months earlier when she tearfully told me, “I’m resigning. The 9-to-5 grind is driving me crazy. I can’t find time for anything I want to do. It’s time I enjoyed some freedom.”
Before her resignation, she worked as an office receptionist—rising at 7 AM, carefully grooming, maintaining a smile through every work moment. All of this seemed like constraints to her.
After resigning, finally free from restrictions, she enthusiastically made a list of things she’d always wanted to do but lacked time for—reading, fitness, learning Japanese…
But three months later, her life was chaos. All her beautiful plans evaporated. She’d desperately told me she envisioned sitting in a warm corner of a room, coffee in hand, book in lap, sunshine on her shoulders—that beautiful scene had filled her imagination.
Yet when I walked into her room three months later, I saw this: dirty clothes piling into corners, a tangled mess of bedding, unwashed coffee cups on the table, empty snack boxes and half-eaten chocolate scattered on the carpet…
I had to tiptoe carefully to avoid stepping on scattered magazines or kicking over bottles. The whole room looked like a crime scene aftermath.
Only the Disciplined Achieve Freedom
Living freely requires also restraining yourself! Without asking, I knew how she’d spent these months—imagining whether those initial beautiful resignation plans had materialized.
She sat before me in pajamas, speaking desperately: “I’ve already gained five kilos.”
I suddenly recalled a thought-provoking phrase: “Only the disciplined achieve freedom.”
The host of my host family when studying abroad was a special “housewife.”
Right after arriving, I rented a room in a home where the husband worked daily, children attended nearby school, and the housewife managed the household.
In my narrow-minded view, “housewife” represented freedom—having time between “cooking” and “housework” to live carelessly, maybe going makeup-free all day in pajamas, not needing to watch every gesture at home, free from pressure and restrictions, like mothers, aunts, and neighbors I’d known in childhood—bare-faced, uncouth, bitter and resentful.
Yet the host wife, though home all day, remained self-disciplined: exercising, studying… I’d never met such a disciplined housewife. She’d rise early daily, prepare breakfast for her husband and children, see them off, then change into workout clothes and jog for an hour in the neighborhood.
After returning and showering and dressing, elegant in a sundress, she’d spend the afternoon unfailingly reading a book—coffee accompanying a small pastry, a habit nothing could compromise. In remaining time, the housewife, like any other, immersed herself in the devoted role of caring for husband and children.
I worked hard then, desperately hoping to spend entire Sundays in bed, not understanding why the host wife would impose such constraints on her life. I couldn’t fathom why she seemed more composed, happier, more elegant than any housewife I’d known.
In her face I saw contentment and happiness other housewives lacked. She never indulged in excess food, maintained her exercise routine, staying within two digits on the scale through seven years of marriage, constantly read, never falling out of step with her husband’s world, and raised children with gentle discipline.
Most remarkably, she carried an ease about her—eyes reflecting genuine inner happiness and contentment, the most precious expression a middle-aged woman can possess.
This contradicted what I believed about freedom, yet I soon realized my lifestyle—collapsing into bed after work, desperately spending entire Sundays in bed—made me extraordinarily lazy and unhappy.
Some unhappiness stems from empty “freedom.” I realized significant portions of my unhappiness came from this empty freedom, causing my life to slide downhill uncontrollably, limiting my ability to become better, blocking the lifestyle I desired.
Suddenly I understood: this freedom born of self-discipline is precisely the ability to control your own life.
Since 2014, I’ve been running, persisting for two years now. Initially motivated by inability to tolerate obesity, I gradually discovered running brought more important insight—realizing self-discipline’s power.
This recurring struggle against laziness, transcending myself through repeated struggle—this is the step-by-step progress self-discipline provides.
Running excellently trains one’s “self-discipline” ability. Haruki Murakami similarly described running’s significance for him: humans naturally dislike unnecessary burdens, so our bodies quickly become unaccustomed to exercise loads.
Yet this absolutely won’t do.
Writing is similar. I write daily so my thinking doesn’t atrophy.
Thus I gradually elevate my writing standards, like how running strengthens muscles progressively. From my personal two-year experience, running excellently trains “self-discipline.”
I was once a person without dietary restraint, prone to excessive self-depletion. Running transformed me into someone with extraordinary self-control, enabling me to persist waking early, punctually stepping on the treadmill, refusing to postpone work, and resisting the urge to indulge even before foods I love.
“Self-discipline” forms the foundation for much freedom and remains key to success.
Among runners I’ve met, nearly everyone lives disciplinedly.
Most maintain regular sleep schedules, healthy eating habits, even extraordinary time management.
This self-discipline becomes the foundation for much freedom and much success. Reading some successful people’s news or autobiographies reveals running—or rather self-discipline—as a common trait: Apple CEO Tim Cook sends emails starting at 4:30 AM, then heads to the gym; Obama works out at least six days weekly, roughly 45 minutes each, resting only Sundays.
Mark Zuckerberg’s plan this year is running daily a mile, plus reading two books monthly and persisting in Chinese studies.
“Self-discipline” is common among world’s many successful people. Thomas Corley coined the phrase “wealthy habits,” studying 177 wealthy people’s lives over five years, discovering 76% of the rich maintain over 30 minutes daily aerobic exercise, while over half rise three hours before work daily—representing self-discipline’s certain form.
Yan Geling, summarizing classic literature she’s experienced, also said: I discovered these literary masters, regardless of gender, shared common virtues or flaws.
For instance, they all possessed iron will, military-style personal discipline, more or less Puritanical lifestyles.
After resigning early this year, beyond my work changing, little else altered. I still rise at 6:30 AM, make my bed, organize my room, and run at least five kilometers.
Returning home, I change into pretty clothes, apply makeup, sit at my desk writing until noon. Afternoons I collect materials, develop articles, answer readers, evenings I have a few drinks, read, or see friends.
Self-discipline enables me to master my life, advancing in a better direction.
Everything in life has order. In appearance and doing ordinary work, there’s no significant difference, yet I benefit from this discipline—maintaining fitness, a full life, stable career, sensing myself steering my life toward better directions.
Visiting friends occasionally treat me as eccentric—girls who must apply makeup buying groceries seem incomprehensible enough; why makeup at home? Beyond pleasing others or ourselves, neither matters equally. I deeply believe this too is “self-discipline.”
From the moment in early morning I put on pretty clothes and apply makeup, becoming a neat, dignified person, I know how to face the day—with such earnestness and seriousness, nothing allowing slackness or carelessness.
Freedom isn’t doing whatever you want, but self-mastery.
I remember seeing a Kant quote long ago: true freedom isn’t doing whatever you want, but self-mastery.
Now I’m even more convinced: self-discipline is the most beneficial habit anyone can cultivate in youth, and should be approached with such earnestness and seriousness—nothing allowing even a moment’s negligence or carelessness.
Want “freedom”? First practice “self-discipline”… Master your own life!
(Reprinted from internet articles)