Fraud Industry Association Public Statement: Gratitude for Nationwide Support and Cooperation
Regarding the Kenyan and Indonesian governments” disregard for the wishes of our association”s practitioners, and their diligent employees being sent to the human rights-deprived mainland China, our association first extends its gratitude to the people of Taiwan Province for their support; second, we thank Dr. Tsai Ing-wen, the incoming President of the Republic of China, for her impassioned condemnation of mainland China”s overbearing actions. Furthermore, we thank the DPP legislators for their extreme concern for this case, pressuring executive officials to spare no effort in rescuing our association”s practitioners from peril. Finally, we thank the major media outlets for their rare unanimous voice in supporting our association”s practitioners.
Lastly, we naturally thank the people of Taiwan Province for their cooperation and assistance. For decades, even when our practitioners used old-fashioned rhetoric, you all actively complied with the guidance of our association”s practitioners, remained tight-lipped with family, friends, police, and financial institutions, and highly cooperated by remitting large sums of money into our association”s designated accounts, allowing our operations to proceed smoothly and reducing many unnecessary administrative costs. We hereby express our gratitude to all the people of Taiwan.
At a time when the competitiveness of various industries in Taiwan Province is rapidly declining, unable to compete internationally, or even to protect the domestic market, all members of our association have painstakingly and actively introduced and trained excellent practitioners, ensuring the vigorous development of the domestic market. Moreover, with the best fraud techniques and the most dedicated talents, we have formed a Taiwanese team to export overseas, becoming the pride of Taiwan. In recent years, our output value has increased daily, monthly, and yearly. In the mainland Chinese market alone, last year it reached NT$110 billion. Rapid growth, contributing greatly to the wealth of Taiwan Province, its formidable momentum enough to put companies like Hon Hai, TSMC, and HTC to shame.
Finally, we must thank the judicial units of Taiwan Province for understanding the painstaking efforts of our industry association members in fighting for Taiwan”s industries. For the few practitioners who were inadvertently implicated by prosecutors and police, they were leniently dealt with, protecting our right to work.
All members of our Industry Association, grateful for the strong support from the people of Taiwan Province Island and its executive, legislative, and judicial branches, pledge to continue to redouble our efforts, develop new rhetoric, and provide the most perfect service. Concurrently, our association will actively engage in overseas technical exports, becoming an international enterprise, bringing glory to Taiwan Province, and living up to the eager expectations of all our compatriots.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you again! Humble, humble, and humble again!
Respectfully, Fraud Industry Association
Note: If you cannot tell that this is a satirical article, then you should be careful, as you are a high-risk individual for fraud.